The Telephone Game
First Version
My friend wants to discuss fainting goats
They swoon like dominoes, like tables
No crumpled-Victorian-handkerchief-ivory
I’ve known since the appendix that Nature throws darts
My wisdom teeth have made me stupider
And yet I wish that a meal could shock me
That fences would rise behind our heads
While we lie sprawled in the grass, growing shaggy
Romantic Version
O thou frail animal of youth’s green hill
That falls to earth in dumb distress
No grace of bed to soothe thee still
Nature scorns such downy rest
I, alas, am duller than thee
Who hast some memory of wanders cold
Of mountains and cliffs I will never see
Lying here in dusty accounts, re-told
Emo Version
Did you see me fall on the cold ground?
Trying to talk with my tongue cut out
This bed of nails is all I have
Not even a pillow to cuddle at night
Why did I believe your lies?
You call this strange world home
You show me pictures of your vacation
I’m sitting in class, trying not to bleed on you
Hangover Version
Oh God I can’t get up
My tongue’s growing a culture
And I think the bed’s trying to strangle me
Pillows are nice though like puppies
Surgical sunshine calls my bluff
Snapping down the winning hand
This is the first day of the rest of my vacation
And Columbus just landed I’m not ready
Mutated Version
When I fall, it’s going to be an event
I want the bacterian babies to jump
I want bedsheets flung into corners
Dogs gobbling in peanut butter ecstasy
When I fall, band-aids will pop off
Everyone will win the lottery
If I fail, it will be the first failure
If I am tempted, I will invent new sins
Translations
Haiku
Goats fall, shaggy bricks
Nature’s jokes are eternal
Wish I could eat grass
Les chèvres tombent, les briques shaggy
les plaisanteries que de la nature sont souhait
éternel je pourrais manger l'herbe
The goats fall, wish eternal
of the jokes of nature shaggy
of bricks which I could eat the grass
Las cabras caen, desean eterno de
las bromas de la naturaleza shaggy
de los ladrillos que podría comer la hierba
The goats fall, wish eternal of the jokes
of nature shaggy of the bricks
that could eat the grass
Die Ziegen fallen, wünschen ewiges der
Witze der Natur shaggy von den Ziegelsteinen,
die das Gras essen konnten
The goats fall, wish eternal of the jokes
of nature, which is from the clay bricks
shaggy, which could eat the grass
Le capre cadono, desiderano eterno degli
scherzi della natura, che proviene dai
mattoni dell'argilla shaggy, in grado di
mangiare l'erba
The goats fall, wish eternal of the jokes
of nature that it comes from the mattoni
of the clay shaggy, in a position to eating
the grass
De geiten vallen, wens eeuwig van de
grappen van aard dat het uit mattoni van
de klei shaggy, in een positie aan het eten
van het gras komt
The ewes fall, wish indefinitely of joke of
the nature that it mattoni of clay shaggy end up
in a position to eating the grass
As ovelhas caem, desejam-na indefinidamente
do gracejo da natureza essa mattoni da
extremidade shaggy da argila acima em uma
posição a comer a grama
The sheep fall, desire indefinitely of the joke
of the nature that it mattoni of the extremity
shaggy of the clay above, in a position
to eat the gram
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