What’s Happening with Your Student:

What’s Happening with Your Student:

They are questioning their identity, pushing boundaries, and experimenting with new things. Experimenting may include challenging previous beliefs about religion or politics, experimenting with alcohol/drugs or sexual activity, and challenging social norms.
They may be having trouble managing their time. In September, it’s common for student to have a false sense of comfort because papers and projects aren’t due until October, which may lead to procrastination.
They’re learning about opportunities to get involved with campus groups.
They’re starting to understand that what worked for high school academics won’t necessarily work for college, and that a new level of work is expected. This may result in feelings of inadequacy. They may ask themselves, “Can I really make it here?”
Some may be experiencing roommate conflicts.
They may remain dependent on high school friends, which enables them to avoid getting involved with new people and the Macalester community. Cell phones, email, and instant messaging now make it easier than ever to keep in touch with old friends, and it can result in a feeling of not fitting in at college.

What Parents/Family Members Can Do:

Listen to your student’s concerns and be reassuring. Don’t tell students that these are the best years of their lives. Be prepared for the crisis phone call late at night. Students need to vent their frustrations and fears, and you will be the dumping ground. Recognize their feelings are normal, as is the tendency to vent the feelings to a parent. In most cases, they will feel much better after having talked to you, but you are left feeling terrible and worried.
Encourage your student to get involved with campus groups. It’s easy to meet new people at college, but students must make the effort. Those who stay in their rooms and sit at the computer instant messaging old friend may have a hard time connecting, and may soon feel that they don’t‘fit in here.
Provide your student with time management techniques or encourage them to visit to the MAX Center or the Health and Wellness Center for time management and stress-reduction information.
Continue conversations about alcohol use. In the first six weeks first year students are vulnerable to pressure to ‘fit in,’ and sometimes they perceive this to mean drinking. Discuss the consequences of making poor choices when it comes to alcohol, including trouble with classes, increased risk of sexual assault and violence, trouble with the law, possible negative impacts on professional school or employment opportunities, and even death.
Encourage your student to become involved in the numerous alcohol-free social events on campus, and to avoid risky drinking behaviors. Keep the lines of communication open on an adult-to-adult level, and avoid being judgmental.
Help them keep disappointments (such as not being selected for a particular activity or not becoming best friends with a roommate) in perspective. Make referrals to support services on campus if additional support is needed.

October

What’s Happening with Your Student:

They’re stressed out about tests and midterms. They may have fallen behind in September because they weren’t accustomed to the time management skills required for college.
They may receive their first grades on papers and projects. Many students realize that they are no longer top of the class, and some who once got all As now get Bs and Cs. Students may feel like a failure or lose self-esteem because they are unaccustomed to receiving lower grades.
They’re facing competing social demands. Students who got involved in too many campus organizations may have trouble balancing those demands with the demands of coursework.
They’ll begin to work on papers and must learn to navigate a college library system. The library system is an important campus resource, but because it is different from libraries the've used in the past, it may be intimidating.
They are learning to manage their own money, and may have trouble sticking to a budget. College presents many opportunities to spend money—pizza, movies, clothes, etc.—and they may
run out sooner than expected.

What Parents/Family Members Can Do:

Be sympathetic, but try not to fix problems for your student. Allowing students the space to fix their own problems demonstrates that you have confidence in them, and helps them to have confidence in themselves.
Help your student set realistic expectations about academic achievement in college.
Direct your student to college resources for assistance with papers and assignments. Suggesting that they visit professors and preceptors during office hours, or seeking help from librarians or the MAX Center is good advice.
Visit during Family Fest Weekend, October 14-16, 2011, but understand that your student will still have to do homework and attend to their new commitments. Plan to attend some events alone.
Help your student to establish a budget and provide advice about how to stick to it. Most high school students have a limited understanding of money management, and this lack of knowledge and experience continues in college. Educate your student on financial responsibility before the lack of responsibility becomes a problem.


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