Get this: the average consumer will spend more than $99 to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, according to the Indianapolis Star. This is amazing. What is that money spent on? Hey, average consumer, could you maybe spend some of that V-Day money on some of our textbooks, or maybe some long underwear?

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and what are you going to do for it? Go to the Campus Center and watch Casablanca with your roommate and then go home and finish your bio homework? I hope not. Though, what is this column to tell you to do? “Call that hot sophomore in your Econ class, and get it on!”? No, this column could never tell you to do that. It knows better. Chances are, that sophomore is taken, or gay, or has a weird fetish, or wants to have intense philosophical/ emotional/life-reevaluating discussions all the time. In any case, it will probably be disappointing and embarrassing. And what makes Valentine’s Day more special than other days? It doesn’t mean you are any less likely to be rejected by that special someone.

So forget about all those socially imposed Valentine’s Day norms. In the grand tradition of Macalester students, let’s try really hard not to act like the “average consumer.” Let’s all not give a shit about Valentine’s Day. Cook dinner with your roommates, or nurse your hangover with extra-greasy foods. Call your grandma. Immerse yourself in the pop culture phenomena that we tend to miss out on at Mac (i.e., rent those “Sex and the City” episodes you’re so morally opposed to). The point: if you’re feeling stressed out about Valentine’s Day—and let’s face it, you’re probably not—take that $99 you’d be spending on somebody else and make yourself happy instead.