Students organizing the current Coke Boycott have found an unreceptive audience in one particular campus group: political science majors.

According to a recent survey conducted by local television network WCCO, political science students use coke more often than any other major on campus. Music, English and theatre majors were close behind in the survey as frequent users.

Political science majors cite the intense pressure and long hours of their internships on campaigns and in senator’s offices, not to mention normal coursework, as reasons for their excessive use of coke products.

“At the end of the day, I just want to come home to my Wallace room, sit on the couch, turn on the TV and have some coke,” Bo Derek ’06 said. “It really relaxes me and just makes me feel good. I just don’t think I could quit at this point.”

Another political science student was angry at the boycott. “I bet those dirty hippies have never even tried coke,” Anne Murray ’05 said. “’Cause if they did they would never, EVER, want to give it up.

Universally lamented by political science majors interviewed was the sudden shortage of coke available for users. Consumers claim the boycott has made the product scarce around the Macalester-Groveland area. These political science students blamed this shortage for their decreased performance at work and in school, as well as for their severe nausea and increased irritability.

Boycotters defended their position, stating that in the long run people would be better off without coke and that they are really helping out the campus.

“We’re trying to better the community with this boycott, but those damn political science majors are just ruining everything,” Joe Blow ’05 said. “Why can’t they just control themselves? They could just take Vivarin or drink coffee [a totally unproblematic product, unlike Coke] like the rest of us.”