In an unprecedented move Thursday, Mockalester College consolidated nearly every academic department into the single discipline of Studies.

Beginning immediately, Mockalester College will offer a Bachelors of Arts degree in Studies. Along with the new Studies major, Mockalester will continue to offer an Economics major.

Along with the major in Studies, students can also minor in Studies or take a core concentration in the department.

The change has come in light of recent accusations that Mockalester is becoming “too diverse” with it’s curriculum.

Laurie Hamre, Dean of Students, said “frankly, it’s far more cost-effective to only offer two majors. We were getting too far away from the ‘traditional’ liberal arts education we are so dedicated to here. This move allows us to focus entirely on providing a well-rounded liberal arts education in Studies to our students.”

Eddy Sinclair, ’06, said “This is awesome! I was freakin’ out earlier when I thought I had to take a bunch of classes from all these different departments. Fuck that, I’m just gonna re-take Dinosaurs 20 times!”

The College also announced that all past degrees awarded from Mockalester College will be changed to a B.A. in Studies. Alumni should expect their new degrees to arrive within four to six weeks.

Hamre explained this policy, saying “When you think about it, who has really learned anything specific from our school? This shows everybody that these graduates have a quality liberal arts education. Besides, who actually uses their undergrad degree? I got my undergrad in nuclear physics and hell if I ever use it.”

Kofi Annan, Mockalester College class of ’61 and current Secretary-General of the United Nations, said “I wholeheartedly agree with the decision of the College. Frankly, I only attended Mockalester because I thought the chicks were hot. And I was wait-listed at Carleton.”