For those of you that do not know it, the Nordic countries are Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland and, left in the middle of the ocean on their own, Iceland. Åland, the Faroe Islands and Greenland can come too, but they are in fact very small and under colonial rule. This part of Europe is so far north that no one would be able to live there was it not for the Gulf Stream (think northern Canada) and is usually considered communist, cold and crazy, for various reasons. Music has always been one way to keep us warm—I feel no need to mention the others.

Stepping out of the shadow left by such musical giants as Aqua, Abba, A-Ha and Ace of Base (yes, we certainly do love our As), Nordic music has taken a new turn and provides something for all tastes and perversions. This is to be considered a crash course in our blossoming fauna of new (and old) music and a guide for Americans who wish to broaden their musical horizon.

The Ark created a new trend in Swedish music and fashion when they released We are the Ark, followed by In Lust We Trust, two albums from a band that were divas from day one, playing in a garage in some small town no one had ever heard of. Making political statements mostly about free sexuality and gay adoption rights in every text line and wearing things Fab Five would have burned under curses the minute they saw it, how could we not love them? Uncomplicated pop about how sexuality is something perfectly natural and should be without shame, they are the heroes of GLBTQIA boys and girls all over the nation.

Bo Kaspers Orkester plays a smooth combination of jazz, soft soul, bossanova and pop, and their albums are compulsory in all semi-intellectual homes in Sweden—or just all homes. The beautiful music mixed with clever lyrics about how difficult it is to break up, how sometimes less is more and how it is to have to grow up (and by this time they know all about it, being daddies and husbands) makes them irresistible, and even though you might not understand everything they say (if your Swedish is having a bad day), give them a chance and you too will be hooked on having it in the background while studying, partying, talking … well, living.

Don Johnson Big Band, from Nokia lovin’, hard core saunin’ (yes, I just made it a verb), foddka drinkin’ Finland just received two Finnish Grammys for their hard work and smart beats, “Best Song” and “Best Hip-Hop/Dance Album” (yeah, it is a weird combination). The single “One MC, One Delay” released last April was their first single but it took the country (and me) by storm. I never listened much to music from our neighbor in the East, the exception being when in ninth grade I just HAD to learn how to dance like the girls in Bomfunk MC’s Freestyler. (Hey, we all have those periods in our lives. I bet you listened to Offspring. One does foolish things when one is young.) This is actually really good. And their accents aren’t that bad either.

Everyone knows about The Hives. Everybody loves them—’nuff said.

Kashmir is, according to me, the best band to come out of the beer nation in the South. They might only own a couple of small islands, speak like they have something stuck in their throats and have a ridiculously low drinking age, but Denmark still knows how to provide us with great music. Following up the success of The Good Life their last album is called Zitilities and wouldn’t ya know it, they still sound great. Strangely enough they have never been able to reach a wider audience in the other Nordic countries. Maybe it’s just because they are Danish.

Kent. Kent, Kent, Kent. They recently filled Stadion (look it up) with 35,000 people who all, out of respect for the band, came in white. Considered by many the best thing that ever happened to Swedish rock, they just keep on delivering, satisfying me with each album. Vapen och Ammunition, their latest release, contains the most beautiful love song ever – “Kärleken väntar.” Have someone translate it for you. We could put it like this—they write the soundtrack of my life (not that bad either).

Nightwish delivers power metal with operatic lyrics. Sounds a bit unique/weird, I know, but it is oozing with power and magic, brightening any boring winter day. It’s heavy, it’s beautiful and it’s everything you could wish of a night ... “She is my sin,” “The Kinslayer” and “Over the hills and far away” are all good tracks to start out with for those of you that are not used to this kind of music. It helps if you wear all black and paint tears on your face too.

Sigur Ros has their own genre. There is no way to describe their music. It is a soundtrack best enjoyed in open spaces, preferably with some good friends who have nothing better to do than lie in the grass and enjoy the sunshine. Their mission is to change music forever and only sing when they can be bothered, in the invented language “Hopelandish.” I know it might seem a bit pretentious, a bit arty, but to me they are Nordic gods. The album ( ) is addictive. Just make sure you have enough time to enjoy it.

There are so many more artists to mention, José Gonzalez, Turbonegro, Royksopp, The Raveonettes, Outlandish and The Sounds, just to get a few in there, but there really isn’t enough time and space to write about them here and now. I tell you what, just take a couple of hours out of your busy schedule, come by my room and I will give you a tour. I might just add a couple of Norwegian bands, just for the heck of it.