Chris Jandro is a senior from Northfield, Minn. Last Sunday I met with him in the Campus Center. He had a cold, but was gracious enough to sit and talk with me before doing some more hippie things.
 

So here we go.

I’m a little nervous that this won’t be funny enough.
 

Don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure to spin this one to make you look cool. What’s your major?

I’m a biology and environmental studies (ES) major—hopefully.
 

So, biology and environmental studies … and … what do you plan on doing with that—the big question.

I’m gonna go back to Northfield and paint with my dad.
 

So you’re one of the 19 percent of students here that are from Minnesota and you’re a hetero white man—so you’re a minority. How does that feel?

It feels good. It feels really good. I’m happy. I’m happy to be a minority somewhere. I’ve been trying to find my minority niche and here it is.
 

Macalester was the right place, and if you were a Republican, then—oh. I’m being presumptuous.

You are. You said I’m heterosexual.
 

I said that you’re white.

I am white. But I actually prefer to be called Czech.
 

Czech, really? So how does that work out—the Czech thing.

My grandpa came over as a small boy and had learned Czech first, so he knows Czech and he yells at me in Czech—a lot.
 

Did you have a good time at the Inauguration Gala?

Oh, man, did I ever—by far the best party of my four years. It was so much fun. The only thing is I was really disappointed that they didn’t have more of those weird wavy guys in front. I really thought they should have spent more money on those because, I mean, that’s why I came. And then I stayed for the beer.
 

It made me wish that they would cancel Springfest and do something like that again.

Or what they could do is cancel the ES department and have more of those balls.
 

Really? You say that, even though …

Hey—I’ll be graduated. And I’ll be an alum who will want to have big parties.
 

And since you’ll be in Northfield—it’s not like it’ll even be that far of a drive—what, like two hours?

No, 45 minutes.
 

I’ve never been.

You’ve never visited Carleton?
 

No, wait. I did visit St. Olaf once—to hear Janet Reno speak. Then afterwards it was followed by a Janet Reno dance party.

Are you serious? Man, that’s so sweet.
 

Speaking of politics, do you have any plans for the election?

I was thinking about voting, actually. Other than that, not really. Maybe try to convince my parents to vote. Last time around I convinced both of my parents to vote and one of them voted for Nader and the other one voted for Bush.
 

That’s unfortunate.

But hey, they voted, even if it was essentially two votes against Gore. My dad and I were talking during the primaries and he said that there was no way he was going to vote for Kerry because he didn’t want to look at his face for four years. Apparently my dad finds John Kerry very unattractive.
 

What else do you do on campus?

I play a lot of low-level sports, like intramural frisbee, intramural basketball. I actually play on the frisbee team too. I’m gonna sound like a really big hippie by the end of this interview, actually.
 

That’s fine.

I tried all of my four years to not be a hippie.
 

There’s nothing wrong with hippies. [lie, lie, LIE!] Why are you trying not to be a hippie?

I don’t want to be the stereotypical hippie—but if you caught me last semester playing frisbee with my long hair and my beard, it would have been bad news.
 

It was just a phase though? You no longer have long hair. But you do have a beard.

I got sick of the long hair, but I’m growing the beard back for the Lumberjack Jam.
 

What’s the Lumberjack Jam?

Have you not heard about this? Well, everyone that joined shaved their legs [and faces] on Feb. 22 and then on March 28, whoever has the thickest, most stylish growth gets a $50 gift certificate to Ruminator—which won’t matter because by then they won’t be here … but you’ll still have won.
 

So how many weeks of growth is this?

About two.
 

Wow. That’s impressive.

That’s what I thought. Then somebody else was told me that they thought that I was going to have a much bigger beard after two weeks. I was kind of hurt.
 

I think being a hippie kind of implies low levels of political activism too—are you politically active?

I’m not that politically active—other people do it for me. How about you?
 

Well, I’m a political science major, so kind of by default, yes. My family is pretty political, so …

My family’s not really political. My dad likes guns. We argue about gun control, because he swears—now you know which of my parents voted for Bush—he swears that the Democrats are going to take all of his guns away.
 

What does he do with all his guns?

Well—they’re just hunting guns. He has guns that will never be taken away. But he’s still really worried about it. I think that it’s just a miseducation problem. That’s one of the biggest frustrations of politics—that it’s all about miseducation.
 

So how did you become a hippie if you have a gun-toting dad?

Well, sure, my dad’s gun-toting, but I hunted in high school too. We would do that father-son bonding thing.
 

So you’re not a vegetarian?

No. But I try to buy free-range, and most of the meat that we get at home is from family friends. Like my family buys like half of a cow, or whatever. We have, like, an extra freezer for it.
 

Can you tell the difference in the quality of your neighbor’s cow and your standard cow?

Well, I feel better eating a cow that I know has been treated well its whole life, than a cow that’s been not treated well.
 

So you like animals then?

Yeah. I love animals. My dad loves and respects animals so much. A big part of hunting for him is just being out in nature—he sometimes goes and doesn’t even shoot anything.
 

What are your plans for this afternoon?

I’m gonna go transplant plants in the greenhouse [he is a hippie]. And if I had time today I’d go birding. That’s what I’m doing for spring break. I’m going to Texas.
 

Are you driving to Texas?

Yeah—with Aaron Malone [’04], Annie Taff [’04] and Nancy Taff [’06].
 

Oh right—cuz Annie’s little sister goes to school here too.

Yes. I promised to be with her forever. We’re beginning the rest of our lives together on Thursday. I’m excited.
 

Wow. That’s really exciting. How old are you?

21.
 

Twenty-one—well, the clock is ticking.

The clock is ticking—seriously. Honest to God, I know people, my age, who are already dyeing their hair because they’re going grey. No joke.
 

Well, I’ve heard rumors of people getting married also.

Yeah—my biological clock is definitely ticking. I plan on being married by the end of the summer. I mean, my sister’s already engaged and she’s three years younger than me.
 

But that doesn’t happen to many Macalester students, I don’t think.

What, getting engaged?
 

Yeah.

I agree. I’ve heard a lot of people saying that there’s nobody here to date. I think that’s really funny.
 

Why is that funny?

I don’t know. See, I think people are just way too judgmental here. Why can’t one person who’s looking for someone to date, date this other person who’s looking for someone to date? Why can’t they just date each other? They’re not even trying—not even trying.
 

And to those people what would you recommend?

I would recommend not asking people out who already have a significant other—that’s my advice.
 

Ok, first focus on single people to date, and second—? I would say shower on a regular basis. Personal hygiene is big for me.

Brush your teeth too. And avoid the Grille on first dates.
 

So those are the tenets of successful dating at Macalester?

Well, you probably shouldn’t take my advice on that.