In an unprecedented display of student initiative, MCSG passed a resolution Tuesday authorizing the construction of a full-scale oil derrick a mere 25 feet from the recently erected windmill. The plan to construct the oil derrick was presented by members of Xcel Energy’s Fossil Fuel Preservation Team (FFPT).

A series of transactions between Xcel Energy and key members of the Macalester administration comprises an undisclosed amount of ‘fuzzy money.’

When pressed to comment on the transactions, an official at Xcel sent an official memo in response which proclaimed that the Xcel organization "has boatloads of money," and there is no way they could “monitor the vast amounts flowing in and out daily.”

Almost too predictably, key members of MPIRG, Mac Greens, Mac Dems, Mac Peace and Justice, Environmental Action, the entire Environmental Studies senior seminar, protested the move by MCSG.

Summing up their concerns in a three-thousand page treatise the student activists decried the move. Reading through the first section of the treatise, MCSG president Haris Aqeel ’04 noted that it was “some pretty boring shit.”

Lame duck Chair of Environmental Studies Al Romero, an Ad hoc leader of the movement to appeal the decision, noted that the continued construction by Xcel was beginning to "dramatically alter the skyline of Macalester’s vast open prairies."

“It’s not like we’re burying radioactive waste on campus . . . yet," said Xcel CEO Wayne Brunetti.

MCSG approved the measure Tuesday by a vote of 14-4.Aqeel did not dispute the decision by MCSG, insisting "as MCSG President, I am responsible for supporting the minority views on campus—environmental activism is no reason to ignore the number of students who actively support fossil fuel use.”

For those students opposed to something they don’t like on campus, Dean of Students Laurie Hamre is often a resource of last resort. Hamre, who admitted she was “sick and tired of listening to sniveling students.”

Xcel’s official statement reads: “This oil derrick symbolizes a proud tradition of taking enthusiastically from an Earth, which thanks to God almighty, has opened the bountiful treasures of natural resource into our blessed hands.”