The freshmen—excuse me, first-years—have arrived. Five hundred and thirteen of them to be exact.

Despite their youth, they are a savvy group, and it seemed appropriate to give them a forum to share observations and anecdotes about their first week-and-a-half in college. So without further ado, the first-years share their first thoughts.

“Classes are pretty easy, same as senior year [of high school]; easier than junior year,” said Dave, a Milwaukee native getting some fresh air on the grate between Doty and Wallace Halls. “And I like the math,” he added.“Fuck the reading.”

Perhaps Dave’s assessment should not be surprising; according to research analyst Cheryl Job in the Office of Institutional Research, Macalester students consider themselves an intelligent bunch. In 2002, 94 percent of Macalester’s incoming freshman rated their academic ability as above average or in the top ten percent of people their age, compared to the national average of 68 percent at non-religious private colleges.

Not everyone shares Dave’s opinion that Macalester was easier than high school. Sweltering in her Dupre single with four birthday well-wishers, Rochester, Minn. native Blair talked about surprises that came with college.

On the first day of class Blair was assigned a four-page paper, “I thought to myself, ‘Oh my God!’” She added, “There were a couple nights I was up ‘til three o’clock.” Oh, Blair, wait until midterms; you’ll wish your bedtime was 3 a.m.

Ashley, a native of Fargo, N.D., was also surprised by the amount of work assigned, “I can never remember doing homework on Saturday,” she said.

Jesse, sporting a Macalester sweatshirt and cap to match, was more interested in the people assigning the work than the work itself. Enjoying an hour-long study break on the grass outside of Bigelow Hall, he made an observation about Macalester professors. “Some of [them] are such dorks about their subjects.”

Owen, from Memphis Tenn., is concerned that he may have “accidentally enrolled in slacker classes.” Owen: most people relish the opportunity to take Contemporary Concepts; it’s a good way to get your science requirement out of the way.

But the first-years are not one-dimensional academic machines; they have thoughts on other aspects of life at Macalester too. Like many college students, they are interested in drugs, sex and alcohol.

The 2002 survey of incoming first-years found 43 percent responded that people should not obey laws that violate their personal values. According to Jesse, this tradition of renegade behavior has continued. “The second the parents were gone, people came out of the woodwork—everyone was drunk on the lawn.”

With the crimes have come lessons about punishment. “Someone had to pour out a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, but there was a party down the hall that didn’t get broken up because the door was closed,” said one first-year. And they hate the police too, “ZAP: that sucks!” said another disgruntled frosh.

But not even first-years can party 24 hours a day, so what else are they doing? Some say joining clubs and social organizations, others swear by stoned kite flying, and the old college standby, throwing around frisbees. Others are more forthright; they are trying to fulfill their libido.

At least a couple first-year males admitted that they had been sightseeing during their first couple days on campus. “I am impressed with the number of physically attractive women here,” said Owen, “I haven’t met them yet, but that’s my first impression.”

Females, too, are hoping to meet people, although Ashley said the parties are, for the most part, non-events. In the eyes of some first-years, this makes meeting people difficult. But, as one first-year put it, “alcohol does make it easier.”

For those upperclassmen that hope to accommodate the lonely first-years, you should know there are 300 females and 213 males in the class of 2007. That’s 58 percent female: those are good enough odds that I might even score a date!

Beware though: some first-years have already caught onto the plans of some of the more mischievous members of the upper class. “Some of the guys only have one thing in mind,” said Christina of River Falls, Wisc. It must be postmodernism to which she is referring.

Only moments after the words left her mouth, the bell rang. Someone had lost their Macalester virginity, I just hope it was not the 5-year old or the “nasty old man” some freshman had seen ringing the bell earlier in the week.