Have you ever had one of those moments when someone reminds you that you’re different? When someone gives you a strange look or makes a comment, and you realize that you aren’t like everyone else? Especially here at Macalester, we become accustomed to strangeness (or uniqueness, depending on how you look at it) of all sorts, and we are spoiled by everyone’s tolerance of our quirks. But not everyone in the world is as tolerant as we are.

I was rather rudely reminded of this one evening this summer, when a friend and I decided to go shopping at that least Macalester of places, the Mall of America. Let me first say, at the risk of losing all of my readers with one statement, that I love the Mall. It is so uncomplicated, with thousands of people clamoring to get whatever it is they need most. There is no thought, no analysis of the economic or social implications of consumption or discussion of the working conditions of the poor Taiwanese laborers. One can simply consume and, in my case, that means buying pretty clothing!

Now, like any good appearance-obsessed queer boy, I love to shop for clothes. I tend to shop a lot (some would say too much, and they’d be wrong), and over the years I had run into the problem that so many girls encounter as soon as they hit puberty and get all curvy: jeans NEVER fit right. No matter how many pairs of boys jeans I tried on, none of them ever fit my body. One day, in a vintage clothing store in Burlington, Vt., I had an epiphany – girls jeans, which never actually fit girls, fit me just fine! After I got back, I went to the Mall with a specific mission in mind: finally buying jeans that fit.

As a Macalester student, I am (naturally) completely out of touch with reality, and it didn’t cross my mind that this would be problematic for the people around me. After all, jeans are a relatively unisex piece of clothing, right? Boys wear them, girls wear them, and while there are differences, they aren’t very noticable unless the jeans are actually being worn. So, I went to the mall without fear.

After trying on clothing at a number of stores that sold to both men and women (where I wasn’t noticed taking women’s jeans into the dressing room), my friend convinced me to go to New York and Co. A member of the chain that includes the Limited and Victoria’s Secret, this store is known for its fashionable yet reasonably priced clothing, especially its semi-formal wear. My friend mentioned that they had really nice jeans, so I went in and started looking. It turned out that they were having a huge sale on jeans – score! Not only were they pretty and comfortable-looking, but they were cheap! So, I scooped up a couple pairs off of a table and went looking for a dressing room.

Now, before I tell you what happened, let me emphasize that the dressing rooms were non-gender specific. In other words, there was no sign stating that only men or only women were allowed in the dressing rooms. So, my friend and I walked up to the dressing room attendant and I asked for a dressing room. The attendant pointedly ignored me, looked at my friend and said “Is the room for you?”

“No,” my friend said, “it’s for him.” She pointed to me.

The attendant gave me the most offensive, disgusted look I have ever had thrown in my direction, looked me up and down like she was eying a side of meat, and said “You aren’t allowed in here!”

I looked around—the dressing rooms were empty. I asked her if I could go in anyway, attempting to appeal to her female hatred of jeans to gain access to the inner sanctum. Apparently, the comfort of their female customers isn’t the reason for this policy, for I was informed that I simply wasn’t allowed in, under any circumstances.

I was utterly shocked, and stood there speechless. After three years at Macalester, it was completely unbelievable that someone could react that rudely to me over such a simple thing. Meanwhile, my female friend was complaining vehemently that when she worked there, men tried on clothing all the time. Apparently, things had changed, and we left the store in a hurry, ignoring the shocked glances of the other customers. On my way out, I noticed the manager going to talk to the dressing room attendant. The manager was a man, and he was wearing a pair of New York and Co. Jeans.

I was furious, and told everyone I knew not to shop at this store. The attendant could have informed me that, sorry, store policy didn’t allow men in the dressing rooms, without the rude look or the nasty comments. This has happened at other stores and usually the most sympathetic person is the sales clerk, who feels guilty that I can’t try on the clothes. I couldn’t believe how openly offensive the woman had behaved towards a customer, even if the customer didn’t fit their traditional model.

I’m not the only person who this has happened to. A few weeks ago, I read that a pair of men had been thrown out of a Wet Seal in suburban Minnesota for trying on a dress in another non-gender specific dressing room. Apparently their situation was much more traumatic, and they complained officially to the company, threatening to sue. The company offered to pay them $1000 each, but they declined, preferring to see the policy changed. The company refused, and the men are threatening to sue.

The moral of this story? Don’t hide here at Macalester. Go out in public, continue to be different, and throw it in people’s faces as much as possible. If people are uncomfortable, the only way they will ever learn is through exposure, constant and unrelenting. Ignore strange looks and nasty comments and remember, you can always come back here and be safe, no matter what clothing you wear.