Drew meets me upstairs in the Campus Center. He tells me to make sure he comes off as “brash” and “ebullient.” Try as I might, though, I still can’t get the image of the blue monkey suit out of my head.
 

First things first. Tell me about the Frisbee team. I hear you were at Grinnell last weekend.

Yeah. I was surprised by Grinell, because it’s really the first college I’ve seen where people are dirtier than at Macalester. Basically a bunch of dirty, scrawny-ass Macalesterian people. We played some games, drank some beer—are you allowed to put that in?
 

I can do whatever I want, Drew.

So we drank some beer. The team is mostly fun. I’ve been captain for the past couple years. Ultimate is my Mac life. It’s what’s kept me here.
 

Where does the name come from?

The Blue Monkeys? Back in the day, before the glimmer in Mike McPherson’s eye, the president’s name was Bob, so they were the Smiling Bob Ultimates. Before that they were the Macalester Ultimate Team Team—MUTT. Which I liked because it had team twice. It’s always been the Blue Monkeys to me, though. It seems kinda cliché, pairing it with an animal, like the Steaming Aardvarks or something. We do have a concrete monkey. I actually appeared as the Blue Monkey last weekend. Think pimp with a monkey head. Lotta bling. Lotta bling.
 

And the Grinnell team?

They’re the Grinellephants. We had a keg stand contest. I won. Forty-seven seconds. Sometimes I’m not proud to be a college student.
 

So what’s your major?

English. I think it was just destined. I realized I’d taken about seven English classes. I like the department.
 

Why are you so down on Mac right now?

That relates to Ultimate. I feel like we don’t get the respect we deserve as an athletic team. We don’t get the field time. You gotta ask, when is enough enough? Other than that, it’s mostly administration stuff, like Res Life policy. I’m ready to bust the fuck out.
 

Where were you before Mac?

I’m from Madison, WI. Born and raised. Like Mac, it kinda closed in on me.
 

What do you want to do after Mac?

I’m graduating in December. I want to try massage school. I want to travel, eventually own a flower shop. That’s my dream. Nothing gargantuan. Nothing fake.

No bullshit. That’s the tentative name. “No Bullshit Flower Shop.”
 

You sure you have the handwriting for it?

Nah, I’m left-handed. Oh! I have this plan I’ve been working on with my good buddy Lance Erickson ’04, best friend in the world. See, you know Krispy Kremes, right? And then there’s Kinko’s. Right next to each other. Both 24 hours. Think about it: Kinky Kremes.
 

Right, Drew. I don’t know exactly what that entails, but I’m afraid to ask. Have you ever studied abroad?

No, but I’ve studied plenty of broads.
 

Any advice for first-years?

Leave. Find some friends. Don’t be a fuckin’ shut-in.
 

Where do you want to end up? [This questions proves to be a bit much. Note to self: stop asking people about their life goals and the meaning of life.]

I want to get out of the Midwest. Somewhere where the weather doesn’t make me wanna die. I want to live a dynamic life. I might end up teaching. I don’t want to come across with some neo-Bohemian bullshit. I just want to be interesting for a while before I get boring. Someone asked me recently if I’ve ever been anywhere that doesn’t wear thin. And I don’t think so. Maybe I’m just insatiable. But at least it moves me to be adventurous rather than to get fat and happy at home.