Dear Fleshy Fox and Rock Hardy:
 

Every time my girlfriend orgasms, she farts. What’s going on here? Am I doing something wrong?

Yours,

Sex Is Not For Farting
 

Dear SINFF,

Oh, dear us. Darling, you are not doing anything wrong. In fact, you are doing everything right. When the body reaches orgasm, one loses control of his or her muscles and motor skills. Sometimes this is experienced as a complete clenching-up of the body, and sometimes as its opposite – the pure release of everything held inside. Including farts. Oh yes, we’ve seen it all: arms flailing in the air as if suffering electric shocks, feet kicking madly outward (and sometimes upwards), oftentimes taking out the bedside table, lamp and other wayward objects. Remember Austin Powers’ frantically twitching toes when he was seduced by Allota Fagina? Yep, loss of muscle control.

Your girlfriend is just letting go. Letting it all go: her worries, her cares, and most importantly, all of the societal restraints that tell her that a women is not supposed to enjoy either sex, or farting. She probably loves it. This actually may be what’s holding your relationship together. But, back to the point: be pleased that she trusts you enough (and enjoys sex with you so much) that she can fully relax, and let her body do the talking (so to speak). Both Fleshy Fox and Rock Hardy are sure it makes for better sex.

And just as a post-note, dear SINFF, if all of this hasn’t convinced you, please think of it this way: at least you know that (and when) she’s finished. At least you can know, post-orgasmic-fart, that you have fully satisfied your girlfriend. And then you can get on with satisfying yourself!

Sorry, one more thing: FYI, SINFF – sex is for farting. Sex is for farting and sweating and yelling and everything else that brings you and yours pleasure. Cheers!