Recently I've heard a lot about anal plugs. What's all the hype?

—Closed For Business But Willing To Open


Well, Closed For Business, it's not hype; anal plugs have been around for centuries. Whether it's a finger, a plastic toy from Sex World or your favorite fruit or vegetable, people are whipping out their bottoms' bosom buddies on a regular basis. Come on (no pun intended), what feels better than having foreign objects slid between the cheeks? Some men can even orgasm from the plug pressing against the prostate. Women: don't shy away from these toys; they're great when accompanied by a favorite vibrator, digit or special friend.

Some tips for the budding plug aficionado:

1. Don't forget to stock up on the lube when using an anal plug (flavored not necessary in this case).

2. Your parents say, "Always clean your plate!" We say, substitute anal plug for plate.

3. It is important to give your plug a latex hug. When sharing, people should wrap the plug in their own condom or dental dam before using.

4. It's best to use an anal plug with a flared base. If not, you could end up like Chastity's friend who almost had to go to the ER after having last spring's Mardi Gras beads caught in her rectum.

As resident sexperts, we foresee a pleasurable relationship between anal plugs and the Mac student body. Take care and Happy Plugging!


Help! Last weekend I hooked up with this random person and now it's totally weird to see him around campus. I'm not really interested in a relationship. Am I a total jackass?

—Putting the "Player" in Mac Players


Word up Player,

Jackass? We don't know you well enough. Horny? Welcome to the club. College is rough; there are papers to write, tests to pass and alcohol to drink. All of us need a little stress relief and sometimes the ol' vibrator or AstroGlide just won't turn the trick. Note: we're not advocating Astroglide, Wet Brand works just as well too.

How are you going to dissipate the moist cloud of weirdness every time you see him? There are a couple of ways: Next time you see him, you can get really drunk, stare at his package, snicker, and wink at your friend. You can pick a fight about nothing. You could, although this is cruel, spread a rumor that his breathe smells like sour cream. Our suggestion, because you don't read us for our pretentious wit, but for our deep insight into the human condition is — drum roll — relax, Richard does it every weekend. Really, if neither of you want a relationship (find this out) and you both enjoyed your hot hookup, who says you can't end up with a reliable buck fuddy.

As long as it's consensual, play on Playa.


Hey guys, I need some advice. I brought this picture from home cause I thought it was funny and kind of erotic. My roommate, though, he thinks I'm a pervert, like Pee Wee Herman. I don't think I am a pedophile—it just kind of reminds me of eighth grade. What do you guys think, am I a pervert?

—Pee Wee

Yes and no. If you jerk off all over this and skip your 2:20 class on a regular basis to watch the Ramsey kids get out, head over to the counseling center. It's free and open Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. If this isn't the case then you're probably OK. Here is what we think about the picture.

It's obvious this person has probably just had their first sexually intimate experience. In a sense, then, it is a beautiful reminder of emerging adolescent sexuality. Summer camp kisses, wet dreams, sweaty palms, cracked voices, your first visit from Aunt Flow. The caption of this picture calls to attention, tongue in cheek, "dreamy" expectations, accompanying the development of sexuality.