So, you are driving down the freeway when you notice a discourteous vehicle coming up on you from behind, unsafely fast. Upon closer inspection it appears that the car is driving itself, you can’t see any human form in the drivers seat . . . Wait, perhaps the car is being remotely controlled, because in the shadow that would be the vehicle’s operator you spot the telltale antenna. Surely we can all recognize this type of obnoxious driver, but have you recently noted similar behavior around the Macalester campus?

Due to a recent rash of out-of-control classroom behavior, I have been compelled to write a few words on the topic. One of the most egregious occurrences I have noted far too frequently this academic year involves cell phones and their proper use. Maybe I notice it more because more of the people I spend time with live off-campus and are either dealing with newly-acquired phones or are just using them more because of the awesome convenience they provide, especially when you don't live in the dorms. Either way, new cell phone user or not, new student or not, it is not cool when your cell phone goes off in class. No one thinks you have more friends just because they call at inopportune times, and no one thinks it’s funny even though most of them probably laugh. Sure, I hear you say, “it’s not that disruptive, annoying or significant.” But in all seriousness, how hard is it to put your shit on silent or just turn the fucker off before you walk into class? Unless you are one of the few and incredibly brazen who would actually dare to leave class to answer it (and I assume, I think fairly safely that those people can’t read so I won’t address them here), what difference does it make if you find out you missed a call after class instead of in the middle of a lecture? Seriously, people.

Cell phone misuse is not the only problem I’ve seen rearing its head of late, and the car analogy fittingly shows several other problems with in-class conduct. While it may increase your stock to drive around your block with your gangsta lean on something fierce, can you convincingly explain why sitting so far from the steering wheel with your head leaned back against the seat is a more convenient driving position? Driving styles aside, I am convinced it is these same people who come to class to sit there, heads hanging, eyes drooping, and sometimes even throwing in the occasional neck snapping gravity-induced wake up call. Why go to class if you are going to put your head down on a desk? If you were going to spend all class with your eyes closed you should just get a friend to tape record the lectures. It is the height of disrespect and arrogance to attend a class a professor has (generally) worked hard to put on only to act like it’s beneath you to stay awake for it. It is not as though professors don’t get up just as early to make it to that 9:40 class, or that it’s so much harder to write a paper than to grade a class’s worth. So, the bad driver’s poor cell phone use and lax posture can be seen as transferable to the classroom context, but what's almost always a factor as this person speeds up your tailpipe? Their speed, of course. It seems clear enough that often people speed because they are running late.

I will start with a confession: I am not the most timely person. I own several clocks set ahead by at least five minutes, I have frequently set my alarm for hours before I need to be anywhere, I have an almost dangerously close relationship with my snooze button. I have made other accommodations as well, like not taking early morning classes. Still, I have spotted a disturbing trend towards tardiness among many of my fellow students (ok, so I have even been guilty before, but I’m talking about chronic tardiness, not the occasional sleep-in). How difficult is it to get up five minutes earlier? How about not stopping for that coffee or Jamba Juice on your way in? Or is it that getting up early enough to get a beverage is important enough to you to try for, but getting to class by the time it starts is not? Again, I am not calling anyone who has ever been late to class a delinquent, but I am sincerely interested to know how people can consistently never make the beginning of a class, or periodically show up 15 to 30 minutes late. And all too often it is these same people putting their notebooks away, and getting dressed, and sometimes even standing up with several minutes to go. Class begins when the time the class starts is reached and ends when the professor dismisses the class. This should be pretty clear. Again, I can understand the plight of people who regularly are held after the class period has ended and who have long walks to other classes which they may barely make, but this does not excuse people who seem to think that a 9:40 class ends at 9:35. This rude, and frequently loud activity is significantly more disruptive than either cell phone use or late arrivals and frequently interferes with the rest of the class’ ability to take in the last minutes of any lecture or discussion that has been going on. My bottom line is pretty simple: if you’re gonna go to class, stay awake, stay there the whole time and keep your damn cell phone out of it. Drive safe and enjoy class.