Dear Rock Hardy and Fleshy Fox,

The other day, when I was trying to brush my teeth in the Doty 5 bathroom, I heard some moaning coming from the shower. At first I was concerned that she might be hurt, until a male voice shouted out, “Oh, the Baunch!” I was so confused that I ran out of the bathroom without inquiring if they were okay. What is this baunch? Should I have stayed to help?

Sincerely,

Worried Over My Bathroom
 

Dear WOMB,

It’s the first baunch of the season for Doty 5, and the perineum is taking the Virgin Isles by storm! What’s that you say? Perineum? Baunch? Don’t worry, you came to the right place: Rock Hardy and Fleshy Fox have done it all before. The baunch is yet another teen slang word for the male perineum. According to the Meriam-Webster dictionary, the perineum is “the region of the abdomen surrounding the urogenital and anal openings.” Now, we don’t know what “abdomen” Webster is talking about, cause the baunch we know is that little spot of flesh between the testicles and the anus that when pressed just prior to orgasm will make any “shower” that much wetter. If already fondling the scrotum, try using the second joint of your middle finger—you’ll find that it is in just the right spot.

So, dear WOMB, it’s probably a good thing that you didn’t burst into the shower stall baunch-fest. You would have encountered hot sex, and most likely, not anyone in need. Just a horny senior—we mean, first-year— guy, and his willing, sexually-accommodating baunch-tress.

Aren’t you glad you asked, old WOMB? And should you ever forget the baunch, just try to hang on to this little ditty that Grandma Fox and Grandpa Hardy used to sing round the fire:

I like it when you press on the baunch, the baunch

Right before I blow my

Load load load load!

Signing Off,

Fleshy Fox and Rock Hardy