A few weeks ago, I was flipping through The MacWeekly, and I happened to read the article “Tolerance, Discomfort, and Anonymity” as it was presented in the Queer Space by an anonymous author. This article encouraged me to reflect upon my own life, and I feel that it is important to address some of the comments made by the author of this article.

I am a gay man, and I grew up in rural Southern Georgia, the Heart of the Old South. Disapproval for “alternative lifestyles” clung to everyday life, sticky and pervasive as the Georgia humidity. Threats, slurs, and humiliation went hand in hand with being openly gay. Despite this, I came out when I was 15 years old, a sophomore in high school.

The author of “Tolerance, Discomfort, and Anonymity” feels that Macalester is a school that merely “tolerates” homosexuality and does not embrace it. I beg to differ. At the first QU meeting this semester, 90 people were in attendance. There is no such thing as QU where I am from. National Coming Out Week is celebrated here publicly and without shame. There are no Pride Festivals or Coming Out Weeks in my home. Coming to Macalester was a breath of fresh air for me, a chance to be who I am without fear. I have walked across Macalester’s campus holding hands with a man and have not had any negative repercussions as a result. There are places, not so far away, where this is not possible. There was a time when I could not walk across a public parking lot by myself without having anti-gay slurs yelled at me. There are people that I know that dream about being able to hold their significant other’s hand in public, but cannot, for fear of violence. Quite simply, I would encourage everyone to realize how blessed we all are to live where we do.

I am also somewhat disturbed by the author’s attempt to draw such a divisive line between the heterosexual and the homosexual communities. In truth, people are people, and sexuality is secondary. Have you ever considered that, perhaps, your friends were not suppressing your homosexuality, but that they merely did not want to be privy to the sloppy details of your sexual experiences? I am openly gay, and I can tell you that I do not want to hear about the every thrust and moan of any of my friends’ sexual acts, be they gay or straight.

I feel that I am a person who was raised with certain morals and that I happen to be gay. Promiscuous sex is certainly not a “gay” value, just as monogamy is not a “straight” value. Not all homosexuals are just dying to share their random sexual experiences with the world. In fact, some homosexuals don’t even have random sexual experiences. Disapproval of your behavior is definitely not a heterosexual phenomenon. As a homosexual, I would also be disapproving of promiscuous, illicit bathroom romps, simply because of the moral code by which I live.

I cannot empathize with the author’s supposed plight. The only emotions I feel about the author’s desire to cause discomfort to heterosexuals are anger, disgust, and a deep sense of shame; that a member of the homosexual community would stoop to the level of bigotry, and simply bash members of another sexual orientation. Back home, my only allies were my parents and my straight friends; there were no other openly gay people. I am filled with a profound sense of anger when a homosexual would wish to cause discomfort to “heteros,” and thereby perpetuate the vicious cycle of hate and bigotry, which threatens to tear us all apart. The author continually laments that fact that he has suffered and that he wants other people to suffer just as he has. I find this wish to be blatantly and disgustingly selfish. NO ONE should have to suffer the awkwardness, pain, and humiliation of being an outcast, and I feel that it is terrible to wish it on anyone.

Especially in these turbulent times, I feel that we all – heterosexuals, homosexuals, and all sexual orientations – should be united. It is time to stop focusing on why we are all different, and focus on how we fit together to form a beautifully diverse world. We are all people, and the only things that divide us are imaginary boundaries and borders which we ourselves have constructed.