Some people go out and meet people in bars and coffee shops; I enjoy staying at home, reading personal ads in the City Pages. I read the "Men Seeking Women" section and have found that there are very few men in their twenties advertising themselves. Three to be exact. The rest are in their forties and fifties with headings like "Single Dad," "The Inside is Better," "I am 34" and "Harvard Man in Jeans." I really enjoy reading "Hepatitis C, Herpes" every week. If you read the personals long enough, you'll realize that they're not new. I read Mr. Herpes' ad about two months ago.

My roommates circled two potential ads last week and then lay the paper down in front of me. "You've got to do it, Lucy." Indeed I did. I had to do it for their sake, for the column and most of all, for me. Secretly, I've always wanted to answer a personal ad and the peer pressure from my roommates was incredibly overwhelming. I immediately picked up the telephone and called the first one. This is what I replied to:

Grad Student

Fit, intelligent SWM, 23, 5'9",

135 lbs, mostly vegetarian, likes

cooking, theater, live music, lit-

erature, travel. Seeks SF, 19-25,

for romance, possible LTR.

The overall package seemed decent, though I was a bit wary of the inclusion of his weight, and the fact that it's a wee bit too close to my own. The way "City Pages Matches" works is that upon calling, they instantly start charging you $1.99 per minute. Of course, there are a whole bunch of steps to follow so they are sure to get some dough out of you. Those placing the ads have the option, too, of recording a bit about themselves on the phone system. So, I figured I'd better listen to what "Grad Student" had to say in order to get a better mental picture of him. It was a long recording. So, he's a talker. And serious sounding. I was getting less and less thrilled by the idea of giving him my number. Regardless, I left a brief message and he called me exactly two days later. What is it with the two-day wait? We're always told to wait two days before calling people back. But, really, it's so predictable. Why not just wait one day, or three? I mean, I already figure the guy is desperate if he's got an ad in the City Pages for crissakes.

We played phone tag for a few days before actually meeting. The first time I called him back, his roommate answered and said "Grad Student" had gone to bed. It was 11:00 PM. What grad student goes to bed before midnight? This made me a little apprehensive. I gave it a few more days (three to be exact) and called him again. I really didn't want to. I was scared and creeped out. Did I really have to go ahead and meet the guy? Couldn't I just answer the ad and that would be enough? Alas, my aggressive roommates pulled through for me again. "Do it, Lucy Do it " they chanted. I picked up the receiver and he answered. (Oh no I wanted his answering machine )

We discussed a time to meet that fit both of our schedules, which was a bit of a challenge. We decided upon meeting at Dunn Brothers on Monday, November 4th, at 5:00 PM. After hanging up, I regretted choosing a place frequented so often by Mac students. I just hoped I wouldn't see anyone I knew.

My "personal ad = desperate/crazy/loser type" theory was blown to pieces. I rather enjoyed my blind date with "Grad Student." He didn't seem desperate in the least. As he phrased it, he "just prefers meeting random people." Conversation flowed easily between us while we sipped our teas. I can't say it was perfect, though. "Grad Student" reminded me a bit too much of my childhood doctors, sans the free lollipops. I don't know if it's due to the fact that he's in med school, but I felt a bit like a patient. He was a good listener, though, which is a rare thing. And he asked me questions that didn't merely require a yes or no response. It wasn't as awkward as I was expecting. I had imagined a semi-creepy dude who would ask me too eagerly if he could see me again, and I'd have to respond in a serious tone, "Actually, I don't think so. Thanks for the coffee, though." No, it didn't happen like that. I had made plans to meet my roommates for dinner later, so I could put a time limit on my date with him. And when the clock struck 6:00 PM, we got up and walked outside.

"I'd really like to see you again," he said kindly.

"Yeah … maybe," I responded casually. After the "maybe" he immediately understood that I meant, "Mmmmm … probably not."

"Oh … ok," he responded, a bit more subdued. We told each other that it was nice to meet one another and then I walked away, smiling.

It was a strangely warm encounter and I wouldn't be opposed to another blind date from a personal ad. Meeting strangers is a bit thrilling. There are no strings attached and you have the option of never seeing the person again. And I chose not to.