Many people pride themselves on being good hosts, but Claire Reynolds ’04, Ian Danielson ’04, and Pat Campbell ’04—known simply as “CIP”—live up to their claims of hospitality: when I arrived at their house for their Spotlight interview, I was treated to a grand tour, a comfortable seat on their basement couch, and a shot of Southern Comfort with lime juice already poured for me. In the words of someone who spoke Latin, “In Vino, Verita.”

Ward Rubrecht

Shane: So, what everyone wants to know: What does “CIP” stand for?

Pat: Crazy…uh…I’m trying to think of a good “I” word…

Shane: Who all lives here? You three?

Ian: And Alison. CIP and the Pelo Roja [aka Alison Peppler, ’05].

Shane: Who here is the worst roommate, of the four of you?

Ian: Pat.

Pat: I’d say that, too.

Shane: And for what reason?

Ian: He’s dirty, look at him.

Pat: I’m just too wonderful and people are scared to be caught in my shadow. And I’m subject to that, in some sense.

[Thus far, our entire interchange has been peppered with tittering on the part of all parties present]

Shane: That makes sense. You guys are awfully giggly. Are you not taking my journalistic integrity seriously? Do you not see the red light on my tape recorder?

Ian: Weren’t you supposed to be here two weeks ago?

Shane: Shut up. Two weeks ago? More like three. I got side-tracked.

Pat: I’m sort of excited-slash-nervous to be on the back page of The Mac Weekly.

Shane: What are you nervous about?

Ian: The Mac Weekly’s the biggest production on campus.

Pat: Yeah, my teachers are gonna read it.

Shane: Is there anything you don’t want me to put in that I inevitably will since I’m asking you this?

[We are conveniently interrupted by the farting sound of lime juice being squirted into shots of Southern Comfort.]

Ian: Put this sound in there somehow. What does this sound like?

Shane: You guys are all pretty tight, like a unit.

Ian: Yeah, basically. We don’t really fight that much.

Shane: Really?

Ian: Yeah, honestly, for a house of four people we get along pretty goddamn well.

Shane: What was the last major outbreak within the house?

Pat: Well, we have a lot of problems with appliances in this house, so we’ve had to deal with the water heater breaking and leaking all over the floor of the bathroom and basically shutting down the shower and the dishwasher for a week. We had to deal with this pipe [gesturing to a pipe next to him] breaking after a party, dumping water onto the floor, shutting down our sink. Dirty dishes have been a big problem in this house.

Shane: So, you girls have been pretty silent thus far.

Ian: We don’t let them talk.

Shane: Evidently. How does it feel that you’re not given a voice in this household?

Ian: They’re voiced through cleaning.

Alison: Well, we did just clean today.

Claire: And Ian!

[The roommates direct their gaze to the silent roommate, Pat]

Pat: I was in class.

Ian: Worst roommate ever.

Shane: Seriously, why are you so silent? [silence.] How does it make you feel that you’re human doormats to the boys in the household?

Alison: That’s not how it is.

Ian: It makes them feel like taking a shot. One more drink and they’ll be an open book.

[We all partake in another shot of SoCo and lime juice]

Shane: I’m sorry I’m interrupting the TV right now [Throughout our conversation, an episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air featuring Susan Powter has been playing on mute]. So TV: what rules?

Alison: It’s in the basement.

Claire: There are no rules.

Shane: No, I meant what’s good on TV right now. I don’t have a TV.

Alison: We don’t watch all that much TV. We spend a lot of time upstairs.

Claire: Wait, can I respond to that [comment about the doormats]?

Shane: Sure.

Claire: We’re not doormats and we live in a clean house.

Alison: We have some nice doormats, actually.

Ian: Did you see the cock out front? You probably stepped on it. [Ian is referring to a doormat at the front door depicting a rooster.]

Shane: I step on a lot of cocks in a 24 hour period, Ian. I can’t remember every single one. Wait, you guys have a cock doormat?

Claire: Yeah.

Shane: So, a hypothetical situation: I’m looking to buy a car. 2-door cars are cheap, but I like the roominess of sedans. Should I become a vegetarian?

Pat: No. I don’t think you’d be able to do it. It’s hard.

Shane: Are you a vegetarian?

Pat: No.

Shane: Good. Is anyone here?

Alison, Claire, Ian: No.

Shane: So, the house: strengths and limitations.

Pat: Our house is unlimited.

Shane: Have you guys had parties here yet?

Pat: Yeah, you missed out for our birthdays.

Ian: We killed two kegs in two hours.

Pat: Wait till your professors read that. “I killed two kegs in two hours.”

Shane: But everyone here is of age, right?

Pat: And everyone at the party was of age. And we were not providing. It was great, man. No cops, lot of people. I don’t remember much else.

Shane: How do you guys feel about the party situation at Macalester right now compared to years past?

Claire: They get busted every time!

Alison: Yeah, except ours.

Pat: But is it really different from past years? It’s always been that way. Except Dayton’s not around anymore.

Ian: I’d like to say, on record, that our party has been the best of the year.

Shane: Was there a theme?

Ian: Hell no. Free beer for me and Pat’s birthday.

Shane: Let’s do another shot. [We do.] This interview’s going to get better and better. So Southern Comfort, doesn’t that give you hangovers?

Claire: We’ll find out.

Shane: Which are the better limbs, arms or legs?

Claire: Legs. They’re more powerful.

Ian: Arms. Opposable thumbs.

Shane: I didn’t ask about hands or feet, did I? Alright, I think I have enough to write something. Do you have any final thoughts or ideas that you’d like to see in the paper?

Allison: Yeah, give a shout out to Natalia and Dan.

Claire: And we dedicate this to people who love math.

Pat: We’re representing Olin-Rice in a big way.

Ian: Can I say, “Fuck Res Life” in The Mac Weekly? Can I say that?

Shane: I could if you want me to. Have you had continued problems with them since you’ve moved off campus?

Ian: No, it’s been absolutely wonderful since I’ve moved off campus.

Pat: The biggest positive change Macalester could make to their Res Life program is to let sophomores move off campus. It would solve the problem of the housing crunch, it would solve the problem of delinquent sophomores…

Claire: Boost the neighborhood economy…

Pat: Moving off campus was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Ian: And can I say “Fuck Minneapolis Police,” and “Fuck George Bush.”

Alison, Claire & Pat: Fuck George Bush!

Ian: And that whole clique.

Shane: That whole clique? You mean the cabinet?

Ian: Whatever they call themselves.