On the next Dr. Phil, a troubled youth:

Dear Dr. Phil,

I am writing to you in the midst of a debilitating puberty. I attend public high school in Compton, and sometimes I just feel like an awkward misfit. Granted, it’s good to be different, but I happen to wear little more than green tights, a fitted olive vest and a pointed bonnet every day. I also speak in an abnormally high-pitched voice. While I felt more or less accepted during the ’80s, I feel that I am growing more and more “out of touch.” I might also add that I don’t age and love Beef Wellington for every meal. My only escapes are hallucinogenic drugs and questioning my sexuality. Dr. Phil, I want more friends, and I want Robin Williams to leave me the fuck alone. Please help, Peter