There are many important issues facing the current Macalester student. These concerns are varied in their significance and urgency, but one stands out in my mind as needing immediate resolution. I’m talking about, of course, the lines at the toaster.
Many of you may have noticed (or not, from the looks of it), that the lines at the toaster in the Student Center are becoming increasingly long. Is it the sudden rise in demand for scrumptious bread products? Is cream cheese finally making its long awaited comeback? I think not. The much ballyhooed toaster area has the ability to handle twice as many people as it currently serves, and yet I find myself waiting a ridiculously long time for my English muffin. The reason? You guessed it: No one is spreading at the table.
I can’t stress the importance of this concept enough. There are three areas where a student must serve him or herself: The salad bar, the condiment bar, and the toaster area (Note: I’m not counting pizza because it is so low-tech, nor am I counting the Fro-Yo machine, because it is an after-meal delight). All of these stations seem to do just fine without employee intervention, but the toaster area can’t quite cut it. Here’s the deal: No one cares if you butter your toast just right, and no one wants to see you smear that extra smidgeon of peanut butter on to your bagel. It all ends up in the same place.
Here is what I suggest: Place your bread product into the toaster to commence toasting. Once toasting is sufficient, take toasted product into hand, or place onto a plate. Move swiftly to the right. Put desired topping onto toasted product, without smearing it. Leave topping on toasted product, unsmeared, until you return to your table. That’s right, spread at the table. Once there, you can shape your jelly into whatever shape you want, without backing up the lines.
There is a second alternative, which should only be employed by the experienced. While the bread product is toasting, dollup a healthy amount of topping onto a small plate. Once the toasted product is ready, you can grab it, and immediately head to the table. I can’t stress this idea enough. Spread at the table, and you will be doing everyone a favor. The line at the toaster area will shorten, and all will be well in Kagin-Land. Most of you won’t know who I am, so I’ll tell you: I am the annoyed look on the person behind you as you take your sweet time buttering your toast.
Alex Hiller is a sophomore.
