I’ve never been to the gynecologist. What should I expect? And what about male gynecologists? Aren’t they just really sleazy?

Gynecologists, of any gender, should not be scary at all. If you’re visiting a male gynecologist, you will have the option of having a female nurse in the room during the examination. You could also bring a friend or a partner. A lot of people tend to have stereotypes of male gynecologists, but remember: the vagina, as much fun as it is, is an organ like any other. And it’s a fascinating one, to men and women alike. A good male gynecologist is a million times better than a bad female gynecologist-believe me.

The examination won’t last long at all. You’ll lie on the bed, put a piece of paper over your legs, and put your heels in “stirrups,” which, even though they sound like something that animals use, are not that bad at all. The gynecologist will first poke around on the outside, around the vulva, to make sure nothing looks irritated.

Ask your gynecologist to warm the speculum before putting it inside your vagina. That makes a difference in the first few seconds, but in general the exam should not be painful, even if you’ve never had sex. There will be some pressure and mild discomfort, but it’s a hell of a lot better than an STI. The doctor will look inside and take a small sample of cervical fluid to analyze for traces of abnormalities. This is the pap smear.

Remember: an abnormal pap smear does not necessarily mean that you have a problem! It could mean absolutely nothing, though it also could be serious. Pap smears have been extremely important in the early detection of cervical cancer. Having these yearly tests greatly decreases your chance of developing serious gynecological problems.

Those are the technical details but here’s the important stuff: communicate with your doctor! If you are having problems, talk about them-if you don’t understand them, you’ll have a much harder time treating them and preventing them in the future. Your doctor can give you the vocabulary, and there’s no need to be embarrassed to talk about it. It is extremely important that you understand what’s going on with your body, and what’s going on during the examination. If you’re nervous, go online and do a search for more information about your body or about gynecological exams. That might give you a place to start.



I am a 20 year-old woman who rarely has orgasms. ’Nuff said.

My first advice is to be patient. I’ve had some friends who said they couldn’t have orgasms, but they were only masturbating five minutes at a time. Sometimes, that just doesn’t cut it. So skip your next class, and while your roommate is away, give yourself a good hour.

Also, try different positions. If lying on your back doesn’t work, try your stomach. Try sitting up. Try it with a pillow between your legs. Try it straddling one of those “husband pillows.” Try it with a high-power showerhead.

Next stop: the sex shop. Honestly, you could skip all those other steps and go straight to this one. This will probably be the best thing you ever do for yourself. If you have money, spend it. If not, sell plasma and get some. A lovely woman at one sex store once told me, “the way I look at it, there are few things you can buy that will actually bring you happiness. This is one of them.”

You might want to start small. Just a simple, small vibrator. After you have discovered this wonderful world, however, don’t be afraid to graduate to the $70 models that have vibrators with rotating dildos attached … mmm.

Sex World is the standard store, and they have a huge selection. If you want a more woman friendly store, one where you can ask questions to someone other than the scrawny 18-year-old guy behind the counter, try Amazon Books-and I don’t mean the Web site, it’s a store for women in Minneapolis. But Amazon doesn’t have a great selection. You can also go to goodvibes.com if you’d rather order your sex toy from the comfort of your home.