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Silly Stuff
At Table

Site updated
June 13, 2005

Bloomin' Culinary Catastrophes

"Holy burning rutabagas, Batman!!! What ever was Adrienne thinking?"

This page is devoted to the truth. I'm 'fessin' up and admitting that it's not all sunny souffles at Chez Adrienne. Here you'll find stories of the missteps, the flop-o-ramas, and the truly inedible. More often than I would like to admit, the catastrophes make me slap my forehead and exclaim "DOH!!" Here, then, are my woeful stories and why I burn the stew and rue the roux.

The Tale of Blackened Fiddlehead Ferns

"How are you supposed to cook these?" I querried of my female farmer friends. "They're cute but you're really supposed to eat them?" A big pile of fiddlehead ferns came in my weekly supply of vegetables from Webster Organic Farms (click on link to find out more about community supported agriculture). These luscious green oddities were supposed to be steamed (just slightly, I think, not for 10 minutes), spritzed with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and then baked in an oven for up to an hour at 300 degrees. DO NOT DO THIS! Paul Prudhomme would have been proud of my capacities to blacken fiddlehead ferns, but he would not have tolerated the taste of the wispy, crispy little beasts. I still don't know how to cook the critters but I know what culinary tunes not play in the future.

On the Bloomin' Catastrophe scale (1-10), this was a 10--nothing salvageable whatsoever.

Why is this Salad so Tough and Bitter?

So much for the sweet, tender shoots of spring greens. A recent salad I made with greens from Webster Organic Farms left a tough and nasty taste in my mouth. But it wasn't their fault. It only took reading the weekly newsletter from Nett and Tam to discover that those innocent, unidentified lettuce leaves were actually dandelion greens, best steamed or cooked, not eaten raw in a salad. Doh!!

On the Blooomin' Catastrophe scale, this was a 2--not so horrible, but the experience left me feeling silly.