first off, today i went to the college bowl informational meeting, which was actually even freakier and weirder than clabbers. listen, guys, i know you are all nerds so you're probably like, READING MY BLOG, but seriously you suck. shut the fuck up about monty python and go study your linguistics in quiet somewhere else.

secondly, there is a THIEF ON THE LOOSE. tonight i had a vision of myself reprimanding the perp and then performing a citizen's arrest. inside me there lives a vigilante cop.

today in car country, we discussed in intimate detail our own camping experiences. the class was about halfway split between car campers and backpackers (though with increased agitation most people admitted to car camping more than anything else), with most west coasters being admitted car campers. i kept wanting to interject with absurd stories of watchorn/sales family camping trips, but i only got one in edgewise (the least funny, by far). this was totally burning me up inside so i'm going to fully utilize the blog now to recount the good times of me + mom camping trip 2006 and kq ranch.

south dakota and back:
- in wyoming, my mom took a bucket-sized sample of water from two oceans lake or whatever, which is a lake on the continental divide. she purported that this water, the lifeblood of both the atlantic and the pacific, had mystical qualities that would benefit san dieguito unitarian universalist fellowship when she brought it back to be a part of the healing power of water church service. the water spilled all over our camping gear and ruined a new loaf of bread.
- in utah, we stayed at a mormon family campground where i felt so indecent swimming in a bikini that i went in the pool in a t shirt. fortunately everyone had to go to bed really early so they could go to church at 6 am, so i totally had the batting cages to myself and the game attendant gave me free candy.
- my mom got drunk at the only restaurant in rockerville, south dakota, which may or may not have had a fake deserted movie set erected across the street, and then i had to drive us to mt. rushmore because it was july fourth. my mom participated in white hat-style overhead t shirt waving, and then the national park service rolled out a boy band who sang the national anthem, and then a park ranger gave a presentation on american values. mt. rushmore is ass ugly, but the black hills rule.
- by the time we got to arizona on the way back to california, i was furious and constantly on edge, which made the painted desert tense and unenjoyable, though the route 66 themed park cafeteria had a national parks newsletter wherein an intrepid young journalist quoted korn lyrics and applied them to preservation.
- in wyoming i broke the free npr shortwave radio by dropping the antenna inside the body of the radio, robbing us of all sensory experiences except nature and rvers with huge ass tvs.
- all throughout the southwest, my mom dragged me to every free park concert she could find. the highlight, by far, was flagstaff's preteen the who cover band. baba o'riley! pinball wizard! nau bros moshing! hooray beer!
- in durango, colorado, i told my mom i saw a mountain lion right before we were about to go on a huge hike, and i'm pretty sure she saw right through it and knew i didn't want to go hiking, but she humored me and turned around. then she drove into a boulder and dented her new car.

kq ranch:
on every family trip to florida in my early adolescence, my grandfather would convince my mom to go to a timeshare presentation so he could get the prize of a free round of golf or some cake or something. at some point my parents decided to get their own timeshare, this one in charming julian. for some reason, the membership plan was for three lifetimes, so i guess about 300 years, with generational transfer privileges. i always hated kq ranch -- i hated hanging out in the clubhouse, and swimming in the cold pool, and getting kicked out of the jacuzzi for having no adult accompanying me, and watching walker texas ranger with the other kq ranch denizens, and trying to buy chipwiches without money on our tab. however much i hated it, though, it was the site of my first period, and marked a pretty pivotal purchase in our family life. my parents bought a tent trailer from one of my dad's mysterious friends, which we used maybe 10 times before the neighbors reported it as a neglected and abandoned vehicle. the city put notices all over it, and kelly rued its loss. bummer.

FACTS:
- get me the fuck outta macalester, this place blows. fortunately i think stefan and i are going to get burritos and go to extreme noise tomorrow. up the crew.
- i might do some actual WEB DESIGN, does that make me a sellout?
- robert moses was a real dick.
- homework is a real dick.
- rainy minnesota can bite me.
- yo, how good is crass? seriously, guys. crass.
- kai's website is rad as shit.